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Mens Jeans: An Easy Style Guide 87

1. You DON'T want a pair of jeans that taper. This means you don’t want a pair of jeans that get narrow as they go down your leg, ending with a tight ring around your ankle. I don’t know what kind of designer thinks this looks good – but it don’t.
2. You DON'T want anything that's been acid washed, or makes one start reminiscing about Guns’N’Roses videos. Acid washed jeans are like leisure suits – they will never come back into style. Don’t let me catch you in these, cos it will be the first thing I mention!
3. You DON'T want anything with ripped out knees, holes or long threads hanging out anywhere. Yes, this was cool in the 90’s. I had some jeans like this myself. They aren’t cool anymore, so just detox yourself and hide those suckers in the back of your closet.
4. You DON'T want any designer pockets on your derriere. Not if you want to pick a woman up. I can’t imagine any female finding that attractive – but even if she does, she’s not going to want your designer pockets to outshinehers, so just put those fly pockets down and step away, son.
5. You DO want a pair of jeans that fit your hips. And I do mean fit. We don’t want anything tight. We don’t even want to suggest tight, ok? You walk by me in tight jeans and I will suggest you wash them in cold water next time. You should be able to slip a couple of fingers between your body and the waist, but you don’t want them so loose you can potty without unzipping them!
6. You DO want natural jeans colors. Dark blue, medium blue, light blue. Stay away from white, black, tan – or anything you might expect to find in Rainbow Bright’s wardrobe. Let me catch you in a pair of red jeans...!
7. You DO want jeans that at least reach the top part of your shoe sole (heel, if you're wearing boots) A man whose jeans hem barely touches his shoelaces looks challenged – in a multitude of ways. Don’t ask a girl out if you look like you’re expecting a flood.

Mens Jeans: An Easy Style Guide

I know, I know - jeans are jeans, you just grab your size off the shelf and pay.

Erm, no. That’s what you do when you’re single and intend to stay that way. Sound extreme? Baby, let me tell you – I don’t care if you look like George Clooney, if you ask me out whilst sporting the Urkel look, you’re going hear about it.

I could start by explaining all the different styles, but I know you won’t pay attention to that, so why bother? Instead, I’ll begin with what you don’twant, in the simplest terms possible. Note: the guy on the right is wearing what I consider to be a very nearly perfect example of style, fit, and color.

Perfect color, perfect fit.

Windsor Knot: A bigger, wider knot that was quite fashionable in the mid-70's, but has made a resurgence with the growing popularity of spread collar shirts. It might be too big for some collars, so a little trial-and-error might be in order.

Windsor Knot: A bigger, wider knot that was quite fashionable in the mid-70's, but has made a resurgence with the growing popularity of spread collar shirts. It might be too big for some collars, so a little trial-and-error might be in order.

Four-in-Hand Knot: This is the most popular knot and the one you learned (hopefully) when you were a kid. It's quick and easy and, to the untrained eye, looks virtually identical to the half windsor.

Bow Tie: This one is tricky. Obviously, you'll need to bust this one out whenever you have a bow tie, but I recommend not waiting till game day to learn the know, as it's a little tricky. Practice, practice, practice.

Learn to Tie the Four Tie Knots You Need To Know: The Definitive Guide

There's a few things that women love to watch men do, and they are normally the things that they can't do themselves, like shave or tie a tie. So, rather than look like a tool googling "how to tie a bow tie" when you are getting read and your lady is watching, look like a tool now in the private and learn these knots. Then teach her how tountie the know when you get home.

Half Windsor: This knot is very similar to the four-in-hand knot, but is a little more formal. It's appropriate for all occasions, but looks a little ridiculous with a spread collar shirt. With spread collars, you'll want to go full windsor, which gives you a wider knot.